Miniatures For Sale

Friday, June 17, 2016

Personal Not A Pity Party Post

Depression By Destiny Blue on Deviant Art
Above is a depiction of depression by one of my favorite artists on Deviant Art. She is so talented and so open about her struggles.

Whats wrong? Well, there maybe a drop off in my posting for a while, maybe not. I can't promise anything. You follow my blog and deserve a little explanation for your time and support :)



Back on May 1st my dad had a stroke. It was pretty bad. He's in rehab and by the time this posts it will have been for a month. As I write this he has been in the hospital for about 11 days and rehab for about 3. I have been there for all of it. I will head back to work soon. My boss? Best guy in the whole world. Honestly went above and beyond to help me find balance while I struggle through this.
En masse by Clockblock on Deviant Art
I'm an only child and have my depthless self reliance, The Lady Inquisitor and Agent of Chaos and some other close friends for support, but it's still super hard and scary as all hell. There is just so much uncertainty with this kind of thing and for an A type person like me? I don't know is like a punch in the face and there is a LOT of I don't know with this. I have gained so much perspective from this and learned quite a bit about myself. It has changed me a lot too, for the better... I think. Only time will tell [punch in face].

There is another 2 months of rehab ahead and then we see where my dad goes. Assisted living or a long term care facility. Not sure as I write this [punch in face].

Please don't feel bad or think I need cheering up. I am in this with no choice but to put one foot in front of the other and I am pretty damn stubborn too. ENDURE. ADAPT. OVERCOME. I really can't do less :)

I also have my ultimate (and some would argue only) coping mechanism to fall back on: humor.

There was some other crap that piled on while this was happening. My brother in law's town caught fire. Fort Mac. Holy crap. He's fine. That's good. But COME ON Really?! REALLY?!

And my allergies kicked in in the middle of all this too. At least that let me hide my tears behind the excuse of "allergies" :P

Anyway, pardon my absence if there is one. If not just ignore this and we'll all carry on with our fun little hobby :)

Thanks all! Something, something, something paint and pain and something o_O Blarg.

13 comments:

  1. Really sorry to hear that man - that's a tough situation and definitely healthy to prioritize Real Life(tm) over hobby stuff. It'll be here when the ship returns to even keel, and when you need a little break from everything else. Take care of yourself and your family first, my friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks :) Slowly, I am slowly finding balance...

      Delete
  2. So sorry to hear about your dad's situation. Stay strong and I wish you and your family well. I'm an only child myself, worse an introvert. I think understand what you mean by your depth-less self reliance. Glad you have The Lady Inquisitor and Agent of Chaos to keep you strong as well. I too am glad my wife and son helps me through my own dark times.

    My own experience with my grandma who had four strokes ... some so bad that it left her half-paralyzed for long periods. She always recovered until the last one left her bed ridden. What you said is so pertinent ... ENDURE. ADAPT. OVERCOME. For family there is no other way. All the best Zab and keep us update!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks :) Wow 4 strokes! That's one tough lady! My dad's paralysis is clearing up a bit - slowly, everything with this gets followed by the word slowly when you deal with a stroke, eh? It's weird, but even i am having to learn to slow down and get perspective o_O Stupid life, always trying to teach me stuff -_-

      Delete
    2. Yeah my late granny was a tough cookie. The first two I was too young to really understand other than granny wasn't well enough to take care of me so I had to go live with my aunts. It was probably mild ones cause I don't recall any paralysis involved. The third left half of her body paralyzed for months while the last was too much for her. Life as you said gives a perspective about how fleeting happiness is and how we should always always treasure the moment. Great to hear that your dad's paralysis is clearing up a bit ... very good news indeed. :) I have seen that art you posted before and it's so real in my experience. I've seen first hand what depression does and also sadly seen many scoff at depression as if it's just a lack of mental strength. It's not. Anyways stay strong.

      Delete
  3. Hey Zab. I am so sorry to hear about your Dad and the hard time you are going through. I can only wish him a speedy recovery and hope that you and the family all cope and find strength through this hard time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks man! I'm pooped, like, always pooped. Still too stubborn to fail though! Just varying degrees of success...

      Delete
  4. Real life is always first. Best wishes for your fathers speedy recovery! Always have a sounding board with the other bloggers if you need it! Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm sorry to hear about your hardships, Zab. I'd offer some insight if I had any to give, but a whole lot of "time will tell" would just be more punches to the face. I can suggest you keep an eye on your mom during these difficult times and volunteer support and companionship before she asks for it - her life is changing drastically.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks man :) Actually, my mom died of cancer about 15 years ago. My dad has me, my wife and kid for support. He's outlived his wife, his friends and his enemies. Not sure if that is a small mercy or harder because there is so much crap that comes with this and so few to do it o_O

      It's not forever, but right now, 2 months in - it feels like it might be. I have never been this weary before.

      Good thing I'm stubborn!

      Delete
  6. Thinking of you mate and sending plenty of hugs.
    Canny

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks. I'll take all the hugs I can get right now - and I don't like being touched, so that tells you how hard this is o_O

      Delete

By all means have your say, but please keep it civil.